Facing new and old Ghosts

The say goes that the journey is more important than the destination. Well if that is the case, this project fits really well. In fact well into day two, we decided to call it a day.

As I say this, I’m doing my best to hold on to what this short journey represented to me personally.

It has been a great exercise facing new and old personal ghosts.

Just few months ago I set out to prepare for this journey with the intention of sharing an adventure with Matthew, my soon to be teenage son. The surprise was that along I found the teenager still lingering in me.

On the first evening of phase 2 we pitched the tent in a proper campsite at Lock Key lake resort. There Matthew and I set down our reasons and objectives. Strong of the lessons learned the previous week I gave him the opportunity to call the shots.

I explained to him what my reasons are for keep moving forward on this journey even without the horses. And I explained to him that I was happy to stop there and enjoy few days in the resort making friends with the other campers, if he choose to do so (in all truth my right knee have been troubling me again in last few days and I was ready to face the next four days walking with an elastic knee support, kind of foolish really 😕 I know better and I was kind of hoping for a bit of rest).

Right then I understood that Matthew wanted to keep going more for me than for the desire of adventure, the horses represented his motivation and not having Cara along with us was a real let down (On a different note is probably for the better the kind of terrain I’ve been enduring the previous week is more suitable to cobs and Connemara than Thoroughbred/Swedish warm-bloods like Cara). I have to bow to Matthew and I am really proud of his bravery to hold fast on my account.

So the day after we packed up our stuff and set out on our way. In my mind I know that Matthew is capable to overcome a lot of difficulties with just a gentle push. I also know how hard and uncomfortable is to carry a backpack that does not fit well and his pack was not the best fit at all. We tried a number of different permutations, using wool socks as padding for the shoulders. The bigger problem was the back frame. It did not hold the shape and continuously bent outward pressing on Matthew’s mid back.

After moving along most of the day we arrived to a point not far from Keadew where I had to give Matthew an out. I explained to him that he could still decide to stop there and that we could do other things together. He didn’t have to hold fast in account of my thirst for adventure, after all I already had my share the week before(Sure I got so addicted to it that I was becoming foolish enough to walk along with a busted knee).

Eventually I was convincing enough and we decided to call Mummy to rescue.

[singlepic id=48 w=320 h=240 float=left]There is were the Ghosts started to surface. I knew they were there waiting for the right moment, they had been lingering for the past few days biting at my new found confidence. We arrived home Matthew went to his friend to tell the story, Rachel went to tend Cara at the stables and the Ghosts of past, present and future started to show up one at the time just like in Ebenezer Scrooge’s story…. 😯 (to be continued)

Tags: Adventure, Cronicle, Horses, Journey, project, Reflections, son

The show must go on..

Phase one of the Father & Son Project has been a true adventure of exploration. Few kilometers into the journey I discovered that no horse could have gone trough it. The main problems I found have been simple obstacles that go from crossing over some sort of fixed fencing to ground so bogy that would not hold my weight let alone the weight of a horse.

I’m in the process of adding a detailed account of the journey including difficulties to expect and gear to bring along if you decide to walk the trails.

Despite all these obstacles, I also learned what roads a horse can trade without the risk of intense traffic or the problematic barrier of land boundaries. I also learned that there are a lot of very kind people are ready to help if I find the courage to ask. In many ways as they say is not so much the destination that counts as the journey to get there.

To add to that Cara has been lame for the past week and while she is now on the way of recovery, is not wise to bring her along for phase two. By now I learned not to despair, like I did the first time I found an obstacle on the way, or the day I reached Drumkeeran soaked to the bone and no place or strength to pitch a tent. Problem will always be there weather or not is an adventure or everyday life. Along this journey I discovered that is all about discovering how what I see is a problem and recognise the alternatives available to move forward, wherever forward is.

This project was not about horses, even if the idea of travelling on horse back is still very much alive for both of us. I asked Matthew how he felt about continuing the journey on foot and maybe complete the full round from where I started.

He agreed and we decided that we will start exactly from where I left it on Wednesday, Boyle. From there we will follow the Historical Trail around Lough Key to Keadew, then deviate on to the Miners Way till it joins back with the Leitrim Way to reach Drumshambo. On day 3 we will walk all the way along the other side of Lough Allen till we reach Dowra. From Dowra we will close the Sli Leitrim loop and re-join the path that bring us back to Manor Hamilton.

In this way we will both face a completely new trail and with it a new set of challenges. We will not have horses with us but we still share a great adventure.

Before I close this post I also want to thank everyone that contributed so generously to Goal the latest count was at 770 Euro, far beyond what I had imagined and I hope it will keep rising in the next few days :-).

Thank you all very much.

Tags: Adventure, Cronicle, father, Horses, Journey, project, son, Travel

D-day

Finally here we are. In few hours I’ll be on my way for Phase 1 of the Father & Son project. For 2009 the journey has changed a lot, the original spirit has remained the same and was the driver of all the changes. The journey is divided in two phases.

The plan is to divide the journey in 2 phases:

Phase 1 will involve me and my lovely dog sky walk along 120 odd kilometers of the decided route.  During this phase I’m looking for key stop areas as well as places where I can leave the horse food along the way.

Phase 2 will involve Matthew riding cara and me walking the whole 120 km route again.

• The route I’m planning to follow will see us leave from Manor Hamilton along the Leitrim Way up to Doo Lough at 371 M and down to Drumkeeran for a total of 35 KM.
• Day 2 will see us embrace the miners way and reach Ballyfarnon 25 km away.
• On day 3 wil start alon the Historical trail for a short 15 km to Castel Baldwing, there are a lot beautiful areas that I’m planning to explore on the way so I kept the total day mileage short.
• Day 4 will keep on the Historical Trail for 19 km till we reach Boyle.
• Day 5 will start along Lough key with the plan to return to Ballyfarnon and close the Historical trail Loop . the Option here is to deviate onto the Miners way to close the loop to Seltannaskeag.

By the end of the journey Matthew and Cara will have walked over 120 Km. And I would probably be close to 240.

I will not bring with me the computer so I will not be able to keep a day to day up to date of the journey. But I will have a 2 days between Phase 1 and Phase 2, I will make an effort to publish a short update then.

Tags: father, Journey, project, son

Lead the way…

Wow!! it has been so long since my last update, Irish summer is really amazing, I know many people might not agree with me on this. Just think about it we have such long bright days that span from 4:30 in the morning to 11 in the evening, the temperature is swinging between 16 and 24 degrees at best and the more than occasional light rain keeps the country green and luscious. It is great to be out, and the time goes by so quickly…

I’m just back from Italy, my little brother finally got married, and in the few days I was there I got torrid sticky heat with daily thunderstorms that made the air heavy and stuffy, we almost got caught by one of them, and the boys were so surprised by the water downpour that you swear they never saw rain before.

Every time I go back to Italy I’m punctually reminded why I love Ireland so much…

Aside from the weather let me update you on the project status.

This has been the more tortuous project I’ve ever had to face, but I can certainly say I’ve got what I asked for. So the goal has changed a bit, the Journey will be only about a week, so I’m about to nail down where to start and finish, and my gut say that I should start at Malin Head none the less and wind down to Sligo.

Seen that I will not need that much free time for the journey  I decided that while Matthew is enjoying his well deserved holiday in Italy I will go and survey the path on foot to start with so that when it come down to ride it we will know exactly where to go.

I’m prepping for this little hike, walking will also allow me to time how far we can go in a week. Going solo with my dog Sky a rucksack and a tent will somewhat appease my thirst for adventure. I guess is a way for me to lead the way in the best way I know, just do it !!

Tags: Adventure, Cronicle, Journey, Planning, project

Testing Edges…

[singlepic id=8 w=320 h=240 float=left]It has now been a couple of weeks that I haven’t posted any update here. It is now time to face reality. A while back Rachel asked me to reconsider the journey for a number of reasons, my reaction was somewhat  that of disappointed, I was really looking forward to the adventure. And I was really counting on everyone in the family being bought into the idea. Adventure is all about crossing over into the unknown and experience discovery. Planning is a very small part of it too much planning for me would kill the entire experience. But when Matthew expressed that maybe it would be better to start with something smaller this year maybe a week treck just to see what it would feel like it.That took me aback. I literally frozen, at first I felt betrayed, then I started to realize that really the whole project was for the both of us to share a sense of partnership. I had considered the possibility not to complete the journey, that is a prerogative of the unknown, and I was prepare to keep my mind open and avoid being stubborn. I did not conteplate the possibility the journey wouldn’t even start. I really jearn that feeling of adventure.

It is now two weeks since then and I can’t still describe accurately what is going on inside me. Yes I for me is all about understand emotions, is the critical foundation of who I am. this journey for me is a mixture between my yearning for adventure, sharing a meaningfull experience with Matthew, and yes in part was also a way to get the attention I crave.

So today is time to take stock of that eat a little humble pie and admit that to myself. Yes because is not all there. After I sort of accepted the change in program something else started to surface. How am I going to deal with the fact I have been talking to everyone about this? what would they think of me? They will all believe that I’m backing out of this… and bla bla bla!!!

It is quite an irony to think that I was going to show my son what adventure is all about. really he showed me what purity of spirit is all about. two days ago while I was still grovelling about writing this post I heard him talking to my parents over skype and just plainly and unreservedly say : “by the way you know we are not going to do the full journey but just a week!”. what stroke me was his matter of fact attitude to it. I’m still worrying about it but he just accepted the situation as it is.

I’m so proud of Matthew, he showed me how to be honest with myself and simply accept that is ok to change your mind. Thank you Matt

To recall the words of Dewitt Jones “its on the edges that we find the winds that take us higher” this week Matthew helped me test my own internal edge face the truth I so often hide under excuses and justifications and admit to myself that I migth not be afraid of danger but I’m surely, still afraid of judgment.

Where to now? when I superimposed Westrack 2009 over the logo, I asked myself  “do you men would there be a 2010? “And why not, maybe that is exactly what is all supposed to be. Maybe this is a never ending journey looking for a new edge to test in search for the currents that take us higher 🙂

Tags: Adventure, Journey, Partnership, project, son, track, west

Choices

These have been trying days, the project have been making very slow progress. The key challenge for me is making sure to do something very small every day to keep the idea alive till is the time of departure. The search for a field front started yearn some results, we found something suitable, for sale instead of rent. The field has a lot of potential for our future family plans and has opened a new series of challenges. Shall we try and buy?… It is amazing to think that it all started 6 years ago when Matthew wanted to try horse riding. As any parent would do we supported him, 6 years later our entire life is pervaded by horses 🙂

Yes maybe this is a path we need to follow. A few years ago I remember reading a wonderful Book, ‘Synchronicity’ by Joseph Jaworsky. In the book one of the passages that got my attention was when the author explained and interesting metaphor; this is my recalling of it:

Life is like a river and we often trying to row our canoe against the current. Pretty soon we find that despite the incredible effort, we don’t make much progress. When we finally decide to turn the canoe around and follow the flow of the river we discover that we can go a long way without too much effort.[singlepic id=1 w=320 h=240 float=right]

The way I interpreted this passage is that life has a way of ‘unfolding’, I have the choice to row along with the flow of life or against it. I also have the choice to just stop along the shore and wait for something to happen. There is no fault in any of these choices I make; as long as I recognise that is my own choice, and that I’m ready to deal with the consequences and accept the implications. And Know that any day I can make a different chice: row against the current, row with the current, or just wait another day for something to happen.

For me this is an empowering thought.

Tags: Horses, project

The new site

I’ve been working on building the site so that is all included in one single place and has the same look and feel, I’m really enjoying working in wordpress is so easy and intuitive. More than anything I’m enjoying learning about working with the web. It is kind of amazing to think that I worked for IBM for more than 9 years and I never felt the motivation to put up my web site :-). And now it is hard to get away from playing around with it.

Well I guess there is a time for everything…

In the last few days there have been a lot of developments, the quest for a site has almost turned into a purchase of 20 acres land, still a work in progress. Some prospective option for our horses companion have been also surfacing, nothing certain yet, just possibilities.

I’ve got back to my rowing machine, and I’m planning to be doing some Yoga too, I know that body flexibility will be of essence. Rachel gave me some lessons on Cara, while lounging her, only half an hour, my legs remained stiff for 3 days I couldn’t even cross them ;-0.

The whole project entered a into a steady pace mode. It is ticking one day at the time….

Tags: Horses, project, son

Questions…

At time it is difficoult to find the right words to explain what is at work inside. In the last few weeks a number of emotion have been surfacing some very new for me. I’m looking for the right words and as these are new emotions  the search is an adventure in itself.

So let me see if I can paint a picture of it. It feels like there is a wonderful green field in front of me very inviting, it represent the freedom that is so important to me and the only thing I have to do is step into  it and run and jump and breathe in the fresh crystal air.

Yet as I try to do so it feels like there is some thing pulling back almost like a giant rubber band, it feels like it. What I found difficult is to see where it is attached to me and how come I cannot get free from it.

It doesn’t feel strong at all and I’m sure that if I pull hard enough it will give, yet I’m wondering if it will also pull something along with it.

So here there are the words, I’ve been going trough this emotional up and down for a while now, is this project a great idea or it is just a whim? I have been looking outside for signs that would tell me “yes Fabio go for it!”, and I found a lot of them all very encouraging, then I started to look also for signs that would tell me the opposite “Fabio what is this all about?”, and I didn’t really found many, and the few I did found where very weak (well I didn’t say anything to mum about this yet, I’m sure she will provide a good few ones anyway). So I started looking for sign against the project  inside, there I found something really interesting.

I keep asking myself the same question why am I doing this for? I mean really why am I doing this for?

And the more I come up with rational answers the more I found myself questioning them. So I’m at a point where my curiosity is driving the whole project; I really want to know why am I doing this for. (and a new question surface at the same time : ” is this the kernel of my motivation? Curiosity?”)

And as ask myself this question I’m wondering what is Matthew thinking about it. I guess I’ll have ask him 🙂

Tags: Adventure, project

Meeting Mise

It has been another intensive week, it certainly started in style when we got to meet Mise, the Criollo that accompaigned Marianne across two americas. And as I suspected Matthew fell in love with her, he even got to ride Mise bare back, the contentment in his face was a priceless. And he was full of beans and ideas afterwords 🙂

The project pieces are falling into places one at the time. To be truthful I’m still eager to start, but what I’m experiencing in the last few weeks is telling me that there is a certain value in holding my patience.

I’m not quite sure how to describe it. A good metaphor would be “waiting for the planets to align”. It feels like there is a series of event that are waiting to fall into place. I’m not quite sure what those events are. What I do know is that I have become able to recognize them when they are there or they are approaching and that is what counts.

Yes I guess is that sense of living in the moment. Carpe Diem. which I always believed was to size the moment as it come. Really what I’m experiencing is the I don’t have to size the moment for the sake of sizing it. Each moment, each experience has a deep value to itself and when I do understand its value and make a conscious decision to act (and the action is consistent with who I am at that instant), then and only then I’m living in that moment.

Tags: project, track, west

The Stuff of Legends…

Wow time is flowing at an incredible pace I’ve been dedicating the last few evening researching equipment and learning about web site building and only now realized that is already almost a week since my last post.

It’s amazing to see how technology is progressing so fast. I was looking for a tent for the journey. The key is to keep the weight down to a minimum. Without pack horse all we carry with us will have to be accommodated between the two horses we will be riding. I understand that for such a lengthy journey the maximum a horse can carry is around 1/5 of its weight that means that that we will probably have less than 20 kilos each to carry.

I found a wonderous Terra Nova Laser tent that packed wights at 1.24 Kg. that is impressive, just what I need the downside is that with the weight reducing the price seems increasing. The same goes for all the rest of the equipment. so I’m starting now a shopping list to check out costs. Maybe if I found everything at a single store there is a chance I can ask for a discount.

I’m also considering hydration backpacks with 2 litres each per day. I’m a bit conscious about the weight on the shoulders but the practicality is undoubtedly there –  no need to pack bottles or anything like it.

The next thing I’m pricing is the horse first aid kit, there again there a whole new world to learn. Rachel is giving me lessons about what to do and what not to do with horses from basic grooming to understanding the intricate patterns of horse communication. Is not really that different from human communication if nothing else the words don’t get in the way. Is all about body language, ears moving direction twitching of muscles on the withers, it is all fascinating and at the same time it makes perfect sense.

I’m become more aware of each horse personality and this makes it easy now I think I know what it means to choose the right horse, there is a combination of fitness, suitability to the project but more than everything a sort of chemistry.

This reminds me what this journey is all about …. It is about Partnership, sharing a journey and working together to make it happen. just last week I had the privilege to hear Alexander Dunlop who is a management consultant that uses the patterns of mythology and storytelling to help organizations identify their image and branding. What struck me what his idea of the adventure, the initial reluctance, reaching the commitment, finding the guide all the way to facing the dragon and eventually the return. I can certainly see myself in the first few steps. When I had the idea there has been a long period of uncertainty between the want it to go and the hope the idea would disappear. Then building the website represented my commitment. I guess when Marianne responded to my e-mail so quickly I found my guide, she has been really supportive since then and she certainly is a very inspiring guide…. I’m just wondering when will I face my dragon, I think I can feel it approaching fast. 🙂

Tags: Adventure, Horses, Journey, Legends, Partnership, project, son, track, west